2 posts tagged “depression”
It was a dark stormy night...
Ok, so not that kind of tale :)...
I am absent lately, I know this, you know this, or at least anyone who has still hung onto me as a friend here would know this.
I've had alot of changes in my life lately, the first of which was the removing of the shackles that held me in constant darkness and sadness. It was an uphill battle for awhile, the insurance company would only pay for the generic and in this economy who has almost $300 a month to drop on meds? The generics just didn't work consistently though, there were days when it felt as if ever sad moment I had the past year had suddenly descended on me at once.
After some searching online I found out that themaker of the generic for my anti-depressant has quite the history. They have been privately investigated by consumer watchdogs as well as some big name news agencies who have been trying to prove to the FDA that these pills are not up to par. The FDA however cannot back down, otherwise it would open up doors for every other generic on the market to be questioned as well.
So a battle was finally won last week. After my doctor put in the pre auth and the paper work showing that I was having reactions to the generic my insurance has finally granted us with the name brand permanently. Meaning I will not have to go through this battle every year yay!
The first day I felt the difference between the generic and the new, it was as if I was starting the cycle all from a fresh start, within a few days though, omg! I feel like a different person! I have the energy back that I lost 4 years ago, sadly my body is not in good enough shape to handle all the energy I have and I hurt my back trying to carry a TV up stairs earlier lol! But it's all good, I am back to me! FINALLY!!!
Secondly, I am not sure which news is the more exciting, but well, I never thought I would get excited at this prospect.... are you sitting on the edge of your seat in curiousity yet??
We're moving to Arizona!! Sadly it won't be for a little over 3 years (we have to wait for my youngest to graduate H.S. first) We are however going to head out there this summer to get a look at the area where we want to move. It will probably be around Gilbert, that is where my sister is moving to. Yes she instigated this whole move! My mom is even in on it as well. So all the Murphy girls are going to be back living near each other again. We can't stop laughing we're so happy. The hubby is even OK with it. He is looking forward to moving to an area with a new church where he does not have to feel as if he has to fill his fathers shoes anymore (we live in the house he grew up in and go to the church he grew up in as well, his father was a leader at the church and a very strong presence there, so those are some big shoes he has had to try to fill)
I actually started cleaning the house out today, cause there is no way in heck I want to have to move all this stuff across country! I am streamlining everything and getting rid of anything that I have not used in the last 6 months. After packing away all the Christmas stuff today I am thinking that is going to be the biggest haul we are going to have to make! :D
I have not been this happy in years, I know now that this depression was brought on by being away from my family, I have never lived more than a 45 minute ride from them before and the decade before getting married and moving to the north east, I had actually been lving with Mom and sis et all.
I could continue to ramble about how I fell in love with AZ on my honeymoon, but I think there are other posts already devoted to that here hehe. So... with that thought I am going to go do some crafting and think about all the beautiful photo's and sunsets I am going to be getting when we move!
I just reformatted my comp due to a nasty little virus and root kit, so I don't have any of my editing stuff installed yet, so I will just leave you with this pic of the hubby and my shadow against the wall of some ruins we found in AZ on our honeymoon '05
The tapestry of my life. At times it has been thread bare.
You can see the lack of care I have given it. The sides are tattered and slightly frayed.
The Original Creator knew the stress I would put the fabric through. The center is still strong and sturdy, it was created to withstand.
The tapestry of my life, barely covering me at times.
Allowing you to see inside of me, baring my soul for all to see.
I wrote this last summer during a fit of depression and creativity. When things get tough I write. *shrug*
