We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

So, for reasons I can't divulge yet our move has been waylayed to the end of the month.. is the waiting never going to end?

Oh well, back to packing...

For those of you who are non gamers FTW = for the win!

My hubby is an avid freecycler. If we don't use something anymore, someone somewhere can, right?

So my one request for him was to keep an eye out for photog stuff and sure enough he finds stuff now and then. Like this amazing Tamrac lense bag he got a couple days ago. But today was a winner! A lady who regularly gives away photog stuff (she was the one with the lense case, and which thankfully we have been able to grab up) well today she put up for free some 35mm film developing stuff. Since I still shoot with 35 and have a Rebel EOS 35mm the hubby told her we would love it. She then sent us a private message asking us since we're the ones who always respond if we would like something other stuff, the hubby said "Sure"

So the other stuff was a Nikon lense, a bunch of Hoya filters and *drum roll please* a brand new unused Macro Flash Ring! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE COST???  I almost choked, I am serious, I started to jump up and down in the store parking lot when I started looking through the box of goodies. I am on cloud 9 and finding it really hard to abide by the rule I set down for myself last week of not taking any pics cause I am sooo far behind in packing...

God, give me strength!

*just added pics of the goodies.

*pics for Raymond

We're down to the wire here, only 1 more week til D-Day! The 15th is the son's last day of school and then we're free and clear to head out!

The hubby suprised me last night by picking me up a Gisteq GPS for my camera since we're going to be driving cross country and I know for a fact that there is no way I am going to remember every remote stop we make across the way to take pics. I have wanted one of these for soooo very long! I just hope that it gets here in time and doesn't delay our leave date hehe.

So nothing else new here, with all the packing going on I have not even wanted to pick up the cam nor edit any pics I already have, let's hope that this changes once we get un-packed in Arizona!

And that is about it. Coffee is starting to kick in and if I don't get off my behind and start working I will lose my motivation for the day!

Arizona or Bust!

Vintage Cactus

Woot!

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Only a few more weeks and I get to say bye bye baby bye bye to this weather for good. We have had day after day of rain here, damn I hate arthritis!

We decided to head out of town for the holiday, I seriously think we are traveling more in the past few months then ever. Figures right? It's not as if we're packing to move or anything important heh. In all seriousness though, we had to bring some of our furniture up to the cabin before the move. It was not going with us and we had to do something with it.

There was no rain in NH this weekend yay! We got to say goodbye to family we won't see for a few years. Alot of family was at the cabin for the weekend so we got so very little sleep :). On our way home we decided to try one last time to find "The Bridge of Flowers". It is right off of beautiful Rt. 2 that I have mentioned a few times. Well, we finally found it! Wow even with it being so early in the growing season there were so many flowers to see!

Bleeding Hearts

We also stopped at the Shelburne Falls which are pretty much right down the street and got to see the Glacial Potholes! What an amazing sight that was! I am going to try to HDR those as the single images just don't do it justice. Wish me luck :)

Salmon Falls

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The falls took my breath away as well. I played around with leaving the shutter open to get that beautiful veil look with the water. Luckily they had a fence for me to prop the camera on as I forgot my tripod was in my car and we took the family van that day!

So what should have been a 3ish hour ride turned into almost 8 hours. But it was well worth it :)

Green as art

Songs

So, my son, despite knowing how stressed I have been, knows how to take my mind off of all the things going on in our life. He grabbed the canon and tried taking some ala myspace pics. They were a blurry mess so he asked if I would take some pics of him. So I posed him out by the birch (they are going to have to tear the birch down in order to redo the septic, that is breaking my heart :(. We only have one birch on the property and of course it is smack dab in the middle of the septic field *sigh*)

So, for a little while at least I got to take my mind off of everything going on here and snapped away.

And now it is back to packing, and trying not to look out the window as the machinery is tearing up my whole yard and pretending that they are not looking at the birch and planning on cutting it down...

This pic is my fav, he was walking past me as I snapped and it had just the smallest amount of blur to it, the b&w treatment took care of the blur though.

Posing 5

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This is the one he liked, he likes how he is looking up at the sky. This one I actually used an infrared treatment on, it looks so cool.

Posing 3

A couple color images, I prefer the second one more, it brings out the dark tones. No flash used on the second one also.

My second fav, in my opinion his coloring is just really complimented by B&W when he is dressed in his grungy outfits. He likes the color ones, I think they detract from his eyes though.

Posing 4

My mind has been wandering back to the early '80s, all day today. I have been remembering my grandma on my dad's side. I didn't really know her for too long, she died when I was in my teens. I have been trying to think of how upset she was when she was diagnosed with cancer, I have wondered that through the years. It was like she was diagnosed, and then died so soon afterward. She had lymphoma, I saw her as she got worse and worse, to the point where she was sent home from the hospital with a supply of morphine and the instructions to her husband to give it to her whenever she needs it.

Today I was exceptionally run down for some reason and as I went to lay on the couch for a few, I pushed my hair back and felt a lump on the side of my throat. I freaked and ran to the E.R. faster then I have ever gone before. Several hours later after sitting in there all day I was sent home with the knowledge that it could be bad with my family history of cancer. I have to go through the whole deal of getting it checked on the chance that it is a cyst.
I am praying it is a cyst.

I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life, and at the same time just kind of numb, so many raw emotions at the same time, I think it is time for a xanax. The only one in the family who knows beside's the hubby is my sis. Don't want to freak mom out if I don't have to. I feel like a bundle of nerves at the moment though. I know a good outlook on life is a good thing, but wow how can you be chipper when something like this is hanging over your head? I feel weird talking about this, especially if it does turn out to be nothing (please pray it is nothing) but I had to get it out somewhere, cause I am so upset.

Haha umm i'll pass

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I think I may be MIA til around the time of the move, I am really getting down to the wire with the move time about a month away. I still have so very much to pack and it is not going to get itself done. My list is growing daily instead of shrinking!

We have to get a whole new septic system, it failed the inspection. More $$!!
In order to do the new system, we have to clear out back patio of all our summer furniture
Have to pull up the very pretty brick patio so they can dig out the old septic *sigh*
We have to have the garbage company come out and move the dumpster
We have to empty out the trailer that the hubby uses for his woodworking cause it is sold
Find a plumber to replace the toilet and sink in our bathroom
Have to rake one acre of woodsy land of all the leaf litter and clean up downed limbs and trim bushes
Have to mow said one acre of woodsy land.. fun fun
Call the pool company and have them set up the pool for the year
Have to completely redo front for curb appeal $$ ugh
Have to repaint inside of house, the dark colors of my walls are soooo not going to sell
Two attics to go through.. yes 2 full attics of 30 years of memories
Get listings together for the local freecycle group
Clean up stuff going to freecycle
Load all of our stuff into our little van and drive it load by load to the storage units.

Yeah my kids are really starting to hate me heh. Thankfully I have sugared strawberries to bribe them with though right? lol

So that is my schedule for the next month. I took a bit of a break yesterday and played with some old macro extension tubes that I had bought when I first got my canon. I am thinking I may like these better then the macro coupler I just bought!

Enjoy and may you all have a wonderful month! Hopefully I will have time to check in now and then :)

Reflections

Macro Tulip

So yeah, I am bouncing from feeling on top of the world, to being totally pissed off. I hate going to bed pissed off, it ruins the whole next day doesn't it? It doesn't help any that I have also done nothing to end the argument that started yesterday. I have this issue with being the one to give in. I am a bit of a control freak.

So enough about what is going on in my head today. All in all health wise I am still feeling awesome, the toes amazingly are not hurting like I expected! SO yay beauty won out ;)

I also created a flickr group if anyone is interested in joining. I mailed out a few friend invites but if your interested the link is Humpday Photography

Viola

So to break in the new group I had to edit some pics I took today, yeah, I have gotten almost no work done around the house today, first I talked with Raymond for quite awhile on my yahoo pingbox then I just didn't feel like doing anything. I needed a day off, every one does now and then, especially when they are in such a pissy mood right? ;) So thank you Raymond for giving me a reason to slow down and chill out. I feel better for it!

So, I had some fun this morning... can you guess what this is btw?

Mystery

If you said sugar in a jelly jar, your right! I was sugaring strawberries this morning and the way the sunlight was shining through the mason jar just made me grab my camera and put my wannabe macro stacker on and start shooting. Amazing to say the least. Don't you just love Mason Jars? :D

Spring goodness

So the strawberries pics got me going, I ended up

Vintage Strawberries

editing a few of them.










I layered these with some textures to give them a vintage feel. I really like how they turned out :)







And last but not least is a pic I edited from our day at Cape Cod. I just have not had time to edit all the pics I took that day yet!

Cape Cod

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Last is something I wrote a few months ago but right now it is more for LaidOutInLavender We have all been there hun, and we're here for you now.

The Lies of the Mother

Becoming what we wanted to be
Only to become what we never wanted

Lies covered in sugar
Protecting their young

Beautiful wings of a graceful bird
Becoming the dark encompassing wings of a raven

Changing light to shadow
Putting fear into the hearts of loved ones

Having the power to change
But taking that choice away

The lies a Mother preaches
Haunting us through the ages.